Baby It's Cold Outside Controversy
Before I completely admit that this Christmas season has come to a close, I wanted to briefly address a hotly debated issue. Of course, that issue is Baby, It’s Cold Outside, the Frank Loesser 1944 song that became a Christmas holiday anthem.
For those of you who don’t know this song, I have the lyrics below and a link to a video on YouTube where you can listen/sing along with an excerpt from Neptune's Daughter, a 1949 musical rom-com. This song is typically a duet between a man and a woman discussing if she should stay for the night or leave.
The call-and-response style seems endearing at first, until you listen to the lyrics. In today’s context, the lyrics seem to depict lack of consent, fear of assault, sexual coercion, and even date rape.
However, the context of 1944 can give a lot of insight to the song. Single women, in the 1940’s, were seen as floozies and of lesser character if they spent the night at a man’s house. So, under this mentality, the woman in the song tries to come up with reasons why she should leave – although she would prefer to stay. However, the man knows her true intentions and helps her come to the decision to stay. The woman of the story is happy to oblige, now that she has an excuse and “plausible deniability” for her peers.
Although the song is much less “rapey”, given the context, normalization of rape culture by today’s standards is not necessarily excused simply because it was understandable in the past. Still, sure it’ll be around for years to come. Whether you like it or not, it’s important to realize the context of the song and let others be informed as well.
Baby It's Cold Outside by Frank Loesser - Lyrics
“I really can’t stay (but baby, it’s cold outside)
I’ve got to go away (but baby, it’s cold outside)
This evening has been (been hoping that you’d drop in)
So very nice (i’ll hold your hands, they’re just like ice)
My mother will start to worry (beautiful what’s your hurry?)
My father will be pacing the floor (listen to the fireplace roar)
So really I’d better scurry (beautiful please don’t hurry)
But maybe just a half a drink more (put some records on while I pour)
The neighbors might think (baby, it’s bad out there)
Say what’s in this drink? (no cabs to be had out there)
I wish I knew how (your eyes are like starlight now)
To break this spell (i’ll take your hat, your hair looks swell)
I ought to say, no, no, no sir (mind if I move in closer?)
At least I’m gonna say that I tried (what’s the sense in hurtin’ my pride?)
I really can’t stay (oh baby don’t hold out)
But baby, it’s cold outside
I simply must go (but baby, it’s cold outside)
The answer is no (but baby, it’s cold outside)
Your welcome has been(how lucky that you dropped in)
So nice and warm (look out the window at this dawn)
My sister will be suspicious (gosh your lips look delicious)
My brother will be there at the door (waves upon the tropical shore)
My maiden aunts mind is vicious (gosh your lips are delicious)
But maybe just a cigarette more (never such a blizzard before)
I’ve gotta get home(but baby, you’d freeze out there)
Say lend me a coat(it’s up to your knees out there)
You’ve really been grand (i thrill when you touch my hand)
But don’t you see? (how can you do this thing to me?)
There’s bound to be talk tomorrow (think of my lifelong sorrow)
At least there will be plenty implied (if you got pnuemonia and died)
I really can’t stay (get over that old out)
Baby, it’s cold
Baby, it’s cold outside”
As a little activity, I wrote a short story to accompany and illustrate the contextual readings of this song. This may or may not be historically accurate, but he’s Nov/Dec 1944 in my head and this is the story I built from my loose interpretation. I hope you enjoy!
Cold Outside – A little story out of the Christmas and Sickly Romantic pieces of my heart
Seated at the old oak dining table, she stared out the window, watching the falling white clouds lace the lawn with the first big snow of the season. There would be a few inches tonight, at least. They were going to have a white Christmas this year, she just knew it.
A mug of warmth was passed towards her, where she had just finished her succulent and meaty supper. She was surprised, considering the rationing that was taking place for the war, that she had the luxury of chicken, let alone from the hands of the man who cooked it. She turned to face him. “Are you sure you don’t need any help with the dishes? I don’t mind,” she spoke. “Of course not, dear, what type of host would I be if I left you the cleaning on your first time over. I will take care of it later.” She sighed in false exasperation, although thankful for the gesture and civility.
He had noticed what caught her attention while he was gone. “Looks like it’s going to be a cold winter this year, wouldn’t you say?” She hummed lightly in response. “Hopefully those boys overseas won’t be too cold,” he babbled, although rumor had it that they were going to dock in the Philippines soon. He didn’t know anything about the Philippines. Did it get cold there like it did here? He was interrupted in his thoughts by her standing from her chair. “Headed out so soon?” he enquired.
“I best leave before the weather worsens. I’ve had such a nice evening though. Thank you for inviting me.” He frowned deeply, “But you’ve hardly touched your drink. I’ve put a dab of cocoa into it for sweetness. At least hold it for a while, warm your hands?” She couldn’t help but sit back down, at least for a moment. He had been asking her to drop by his family cabin since they began seeing each other. It seemed so easy for them for loose track of the days. Momma said that she shouldn’t go over alone though, considering they hadn’t talked about asking for her hand yet. But, Momma really was so old fashioned.
“No need to rush, let the weather lighten first. With the snow falling, it’ll be cold outside.” She agreed. At the same time, she acknowledged, “Sure, but not too long, my parents will start to worry.” She sipped on her drink, warm milk with a dash of cocoa, just as he had described. “Let’s retreat to the fire while we wait? I lit it before supper so there should be a good flame crackling by now. You can hear it” She could, indeed, hear the wood popping in the next room. Though, she wasn’t sure how safe it was to have the fire go with no one in the room, she wouldn’t mention it.
She let him lead her by the hand to the living area. His coarse skin against her soft hand seemed very odd when they had touched during their walk around the cabin earlier in the evening. But, now it seemed right. She was alarmed at how comfortable she was seated next to him, their legs lightly touching on the couch. She looked up to him smiling sweetly down at her, to which she responded with a quick look away and fierce blushing. She heard him chuckle.
“You don’t have to be shy, you don’t even have to leave, if you don’t want to. There’s no need to hurry away so soon. No matter what happens with the snow outside, you’re welcome here.”
Although the cabin was somewhat isolated from neighbors, it wasn’t so far that people hadn’t seen her enter earlier tonight. Wouldn’t they gossip If she didn’t leave soon? She shook the thought from her brain, she shouldn’t even entertain the idea of staying longer. Momma may be old fashioned, but there were sure still a lot of people who thought like Momma, in this world. She willed her legs to begin to stand, “You’ve been the most wonderful host, but I really can’t stay long… maybe just a half a drink more?”
He stood, delighted, “Yes, of course! I’ll pour. Feel free to look at the records on the wall, we can play some when I get back.” She handed the mug to him but remained seated. She enjoyed the intimate quiet they entertained. Maybe next time, she would find some music to dance to.
He returned to a question, “How will I get home tonight?” “I can take you back, there won’t be cabs hanging around this piece of town. They like to stay closer to the city.” That made sense, she thought. He tried handing her the mug back, “I ought to say no. But it truly is cold outside.” She grabbed the handle reluctantly. He was so interesting to her, such a gentleman and yet so different than anyone she had known before. She was so drawn to him and didn’t know if that was good or not.
He sat down on the opposite end of the seat cushion. She didn’t know it, but it was just to see how she would react. As she looked at him coy and longingly, he knew that she felt as he did. “Mind if I move in closer?” he inquired.
Though she didn’t want to admit it, she did want him closer. “Say, what’s in this drink?” she laughed as she tried to find an excuse to why she was acting so sheepishly, while avoiding the topic of leaving quite yet. He laughed along with her and took it as an invitation to move closer. They sat looking into the flames for a while like this.
Once her drink was gone, she couldn’t put it off any longer. “I have to go,” she said softly as she turned toward him, realizing how close their faces had gotten while seated here. “You don’t have to,” he replied, equally as soft. He knew she wanted to stay, but worried that he may be coming off a strong. Still, he couldn’t stand the idea of leaving this feeling of utter contentment.
Her body tightened next to him, “No, I can’t,” she said as she turned back to look at the fire. If she saw his warm face sadden next to her, she knew that she wouldn’t bring herself to leave him. Although she had been entertaining the thought, it wasn’t appropriate to stay. This was bigger than her own desires. Her family was in for the holidays and they would all know it if she didn’t return. She may as well be asking her brother to come stomping up to the cabin door, for goodness sake.
She finally gained the courage to turn toward him to ask for a ride home when she was abruptly stopped. She felt hands caress her face as she found herself looking deep into his eyes. “I’ve wanted to do this all night, and can’t imagine you leaving before I get a chance. Your lips will haunt me, if I don’t,” he whispered. It felt like an eternity before she gave the slightest nod, and their lips met. Their lips embraced until a big gust of wind hit the cabin and sent a burst of sound rattling inside. He pulled away slowly and smiled, “You know, it really is so windy and cold. Now, I can’t let you go catching anything out there. Imagine my sorrow.” He looked devilishly at her, as though he had gotten away with something.
The secret was, she was the one who had gotten away with something. “There will be talk tomorrow if I don’t get home. Say, lend me a coat?” She obviously joked, as she was so deep in the couch that nothing was going to get her up now. He began to protest, but she interrupted him, “Know what I think? I think it’s too cold outside anyways.”